Post by Jack Speed/NVX on Nov 21, 2009 18:55:50 GMT -5
The scene opens with John Archer seen standing backstage with a microphone in his hand. In his cheap suit, he smiles at the camera.
John Archer
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Jack...What's his name? Jack Crack? No? I remember his last name was something cliche. Jack Amphetamine? That's it. Jack Amphetamine. Boy, glad I can make mistakes like this when we're not live. What do you mean we're live? We can't be live, I'm a professional. They'd tell me if we're live. Are you serious? FUCK! Oh. Uh, uh, I mean. Jack Amphetamine!
An athletic looking young man walks up next to John Archer. He looks like he is in his early twenties with dark, spiked up hair.
Jack Speed
It's Jack Speed, you fucking cunt.
John Archer
Yes, well, you shouldn't use kind of language when we're live. It's quite unprofessional. Now I understand that you were trained by the veteran, NVX?
Jack Speed
What the hell does that have to do with anything? And don't say it like that. NVX didn't train me. NVX trained ME.
John Archer
Ah, yes. Yes, I see. Now, who are you and why should any of us care?
Jack Speed
Do you realize who you're talking to?
John Archer
No. No, I don't. Which is why I asked you who you were?
Jack Speed
My name is Jack Speed. They call me the Charismatic Automatic. Do you know why they call me that, Archer. HHHHMMMMMM? Do yah?!
John Archer quickly shakes is head, a little surprised by Jack's attitude.
Jack Speed
Because I'm automatic charismatic every time I open my GODDAMN MOUTH. I mean, seriously. I am one in a million. You know, just by looking at my perfect abdominal region, that I have loads of stamina, unlike all you fat slobs watching at home who are too damn lazy to get your asses off your cheap couches and buy a damn ticket that you probably can't even afford. As I was saying, I can wrestle. When you see me perform out there, I promise that you'll be amazed because you can only hope to be able to do the things that I do. That includes having sex, which I'm sure most of you have never done. Unless you're a rapist, you're a fucking virgin.
Yeah, that kind of hurt, didn't it? That's just another reason that call me the Charismatic Automatic. Because I talk fast and my words hurt, just like a machine gun. I'm sure you all know what that is. I mean you losers probably spend all day playing Counter Strike and Modern Warfare 2, when you're not jerking off, of course.
You see, none of you will ever be like me. I'm more talented. I'm better looking. I've got WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY more personality than ANY OF YOU. Let's just face it; I'm just better than you. What have any of you ever done with your lives? You're all living your boring, perfunctory lives while I'm out here seeking thrills and flying high. I get paid AND get laid. At least the LDWA roster are going to be busy doing something. They get the honor of saying "HEY! JACK SPEED JUST KICKED MY ASS!"
Be sure to look out for my matches. My name is Jack Speed. You don't have to worry about remembering it. In a few years, I'm all you're going to be talking about.
Jack Speed just walks away from camera's view as John Archer calls out to him, not finished asking all of his questions. He stares at the camera and makes a cutting gesture at his neck, telling the cameraman to turn it off.
John Archer
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Jack...What's his name? Jack Crack? No? I remember his last name was something cliche. Jack Amphetamine? That's it. Jack Amphetamine. Boy, glad I can make mistakes like this when we're not live. What do you mean we're live? We can't be live, I'm a professional. They'd tell me if we're live. Are you serious? FUCK! Oh. Uh, uh, I mean. Jack Amphetamine!
An athletic looking young man walks up next to John Archer. He looks like he is in his early twenties with dark, spiked up hair.
Jack Speed
It's Jack Speed, you fucking cunt.
John Archer
Yes, well, you shouldn't use kind of language when we're live. It's quite unprofessional. Now I understand that you were trained by the veteran, NVX?
Jack Speed
What the hell does that have to do with anything? And don't say it like that. NVX didn't train me. NVX trained ME.
John Archer
Ah, yes. Yes, I see. Now, who are you and why should any of us care?
Jack Speed
Do you realize who you're talking to?
John Archer
No. No, I don't. Which is why I asked you who you were?
Jack Speed
My name is Jack Speed. They call me the Charismatic Automatic. Do you know why they call me that, Archer. HHHHMMMMMM? Do yah?!
John Archer quickly shakes is head, a little surprised by Jack's attitude.
Jack Speed
Because I'm automatic charismatic every time I open my GODDAMN MOUTH. I mean, seriously. I am one in a million. You know, just by looking at my perfect abdominal region, that I have loads of stamina, unlike all you fat slobs watching at home who are too damn lazy to get your asses off your cheap couches and buy a damn ticket that you probably can't even afford. As I was saying, I can wrestle. When you see me perform out there, I promise that you'll be amazed because you can only hope to be able to do the things that I do. That includes having sex, which I'm sure most of you have never done. Unless you're a rapist, you're a fucking virgin.
Yeah, that kind of hurt, didn't it? That's just another reason that call me the Charismatic Automatic. Because I talk fast and my words hurt, just like a machine gun. I'm sure you all know what that is. I mean you losers probably spend all day playing Counter Strike and Modern Warfare 2, when you're not jerking off, of course.
You see, none of you will ever be like me. I'm more talented. I'm better looking. I've got WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY more personality than ANY OF YOU. Let's just face it; I'm just better than you. What have any of you ever done with your lives? You're all living your boring, perfunctory lives while I'm out here seeking thrills and flying high. I get paid AND get laid. At least the LDWA roster are going to be busy doing something. They get the honor of saying "HEY! JACK SPEED JUST KICKED MY ASS!"
Be sure to look out for my matches. My name is Jack Speed. You don't have to worry about remembering it. In a few years, I'm all you're going to be talking about.
Jack Speed just walks away from camera's view as John Archer calls out to him, not finished asking all of his questions. He stares at the camera and makes a cutting gesture at his neck, telling the cameraman to turn it off.
EoT
Comments are very welcome
