Post by Nigel the Matmatician (Hayden) on Nov 17, 2009 2:09:47 GMT -5
The scene opens with the blaring sound of a cheesy synth, the sound warped and as it fades in. the screen is filled with white but soon zooms out, showing first a pure white lab-coat then a manically smiling man, complete with french beret atop his bald head. He rubs his walrus-like goatee with his right hand before turning back to the large whiteboard behind him. As he does so, the music fades out to ambience.
Writing quickly in a barely legible scrawl, he completes an equation that had taken up most of the board in working out, with various arrows, squiggles, numbers and symbols to fill the space. Satisfied, he sets the whiteboard pen into his labcoat pocket and turns to the camera.
"It is really quite simple...
I calculate the probabilities, working out the likelihood of certain outcomes occurring thoughout life. From somethng as simple as what I will eat for dinner tonight to more complex problem, like solving the world's global warming problems. I dabble in the art of numbers.
My name is Nigel, and I am a scientist first... A wrestler secondly."
Again, the man adjusts his goatee, emanating a noise like a small goat stuck in a wire fence as he continues to smile. his entire body shakes as the strange laughter fills the air. Upon composing himself, Nigel continues to adress his unseen audience.
"This business is full of risks. Every step one takes inside the ring is a risk, every perfectly executed move, every win, every loss and everything in between.
I eliminate the variables, scientifically approaching my opponents in an objectional, scientific manner. I calculate the possibilities, entering the every match as prepared as possible.
Wrestling is but an artform, an art that I have broken down and rebuilt."
He extends a hand toward an unseen figure standing just behind the camera. A gloved hand is shaken in response as Nigel introduces himself for a final time.
"Nigel, once mathmatician, now turned Matmatician.
I calculate the risks, then ignore them."
EOT
Thoughts??
