Opening Bout:

[kelvinkage]

The broadcast of Lion's Den Professional Wrestling goes live after network programming. Unlike their usual agenda, the camera cuts to the ring where Belle Blair stands in the center, stunning as usual. She brings the microphone to her lips, intimating that they are definitely ready to get the action going.

:{Belle Blair}:
"Welcome to Monday Night Decimation, we're glad to have you as usual. Ladies and Gentlemen tonight's opening bout is a Singles Match scheduled for one fall."

Almost on cue with her comment, the lights are suddenly cut off. The fans wonder whats going on, as rumors of a new superstar swirl around. The speculation is true, as everyone in the arena concentrates on a serious voice that suddenly addresses them.

'I Am Not Focused.
I Am The Definition of It!

I Show No Mercy.
For Mercy Is For The Weak.

For Every Pain I Dish Out.
There Is An Equal To Greater Suffering.

For I Am Not Man.
BUT MACHINE'

And There's Something You Should Know

....

Your Gonna Die Here Tonight!
Samoan Joel's voice echoes throughout the arena as "Paper Cut" by Linkin Park hits the P.A. system.

The curtains are pushed off in opposite direction and all eyes gaze the stage where one of the most imposing, dominant heavyweight champions of the last few years emerges. The superstar's identity is concealed by his white towel, and as he shakes his hands from side to side some of the fans become aware of his true identity. The superstar slowly marches down the ramp, slowly, steadily and carefully, while ignoring the fans in the front row that reach out and attempt to grab a piece of him. The titan slowly marches up the steel stairs in a rhythmical fashion. He marches along the ring apron before stepping over the top rope.

The towering titan, slowly drags the towel from his face as the arena lights return to their normal setting, revealing himself to be none other than the 2 time GHW New Age Champion, Samoan Joel.

"Introducing first, debuting he stands at 6 foot 3, 295 pounds, hailing from the 'Isle of Samoa' he is the Samoan Submission Machine...Samoan Joel!"

TBC

[kahlan]

The air is TERSE and PREGNANT (Stop laughing you dolts, I’m serious!) with anticipation. Pain, by Three Days Grace reverberates throughout the arena, while Kylar, the youngster, steps out through the lavishly coloured, green curtains and onto the entrance ramp.

“And his opponent, weighting at 210Ibs and coming from somewhere in London England, he is the Joel basher…Kylar McCartney!”

While snickering, the youngster takes a deliberate pause brushing his blond, casually coifed hair back, before bringing a microphone up to his lips.

“Cut the music folks … HAI fatty Joel, I got something to say-” Coughing a couple of times in dramatic pretence, he speaks again, “I was warming up backstage, preparing for this match buddy and I was bored. So, I made a poem. No, no it’s good, serious, listen.”

Carefully unfolding a piece of paper, Johnny can’t restrain his mouth anymore, “A poem?”
David replies to an obvious question, “Yes, a poem John. You know a writing, within which the words rhyme.”
“Come on for Christ sake! This is a wrestling match-”

“There's a pig named Joel and you wouldn't want to know
But he thinks he'd like to be a Hippopotamus
And it sounds very strange, and he really wants to change
And in that way he's just like a lot of you

Oh, it wouldn't be so bad if he was certified as mad
But he's not... he holds a normal conversation
It's just that within he's in a different kind of skin
And it causes him a lot of molestation

An identity crisis in a bloke like that
Has got to get a high consideration
At times you're all like that, the hippo and the pig
And it can make for very strange conversation

You see, Joel can't swim... it's just not natural to him
He gets his anus wet and whiskers out of shape
And a hippo feels a dud unless he's wallowing in mud
With his big booty ass all agape

But you look into Joel's eyes and know he loves the shape and size
Of his big, round cousin in the water
So he sits by the river with his heart all a-quiver
Wanting what he really shouldn't oughta

An identity crisis in a bloke like that
Has got to get a high consideration
At times you're all like that, the hippo and the pig
I guess you'd sometimes like to change your situation”

The fat stuffed dude’s crimson face takes on a very round, spherical shape – if that is even possible! – his bulging eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets. The official puts his whole weight in front of a Samoan Bull, who has seen red stains and has a tough job, keeping his charge at bay.

“Awesome! I love the kid!”
“That was totally-"
“AWESOME! I SAID I LOVE HIM!”

Sliding into the squared battleground, the smirking figure rolls to his feet and taunts the overweighed Samoan to do his worse.

To-Be fucking-Continued.

[kelvinkage]

Samoan Joel attempts to capture Kylker but the smaller, quicker cruiserweight uses his speed advantage to avoid all strike and grapple attempts. They somehow meet face to face, in the center of the ring with a smally yet signifcant gap in between them. Joel with his guard up tight scowls at McCartney who playfully jabs the fomer New Age Champion with crude, humorous comments. McCartney extends his hand out and invites Joel to attack, and the Samoan obliges as he slowly lifts leg up. Kyler leans in to seize the leg of the 300 hundred pounder, but he falls for the trick as the attack was feigned at most. Joel swigs his leg before falling forward with all his weight and lanching a once cocked fist into the jaw of the poet, tagging him with a wicked shot that has Kylar stumbling uncontrollaby. Joe takes advantage of the groggy Kylar as he steps forward and lifts his leg up. He bends the knee and turns it sideways before cutting it through the air and burying it into the side of McCartney's body, evoking a shriek and saliva which sputters from the London native's gaping mouth. Kylar staggers toward the corner, where Joe finishes off his flurry of offense as he leaps off the canvas and lifts his leg up, thrusting his knee into the chest of the 200 pounder and causing him to lurch into the corner.

Following the Muay Thai techniques, Joe quickly advances to the corner where he unloads a barrae of fists, as he blasts Kylar left and right with stiff, precise shots that coerce the Englishman to the floor. From there Joe takes his foot and places it on the side of his antagonist's face before repeatedly brushing his boot across it, washing Kylar's self-righteous glow as well as his arrogant smirk away. With his opponent tasting boot, Joe suddenly pulls away before charging across the ring. He rebounds off the ropes and dashes toward his foe who is still dazed and stupified. Joe lifts his leg up and viciously drives it into the head of his opponent. The boot skids off the smaller London resident's skull and hangs over the bottom for display, as Kylar McCartney is rendered somewhat unconscious after the withering attack.

Johnny:
"Running Facewash by the angry Samoan. Kylar McCartney just received a face surgery folks!"

Dave:
"And he won't like the results. Serves him right for reading that God awful poetry."

The referee steps in for a moment and uses all his might to push the Samoan Submission Machine back, subdoing him and preventing him from delivering more damage to a possibly battered Kylar. The ref checks on McCartney who finally shows signs of life, as he repeatedly blinks his eyes. McCartney seizes the ropes and uses them as leverage to rise to his feet. He stubmls over a bit and collapses onto the bottom rope, and as soon as the referee backs away, Samoan Joe attempts to capitalize on his opponent's struggle. Sensing the over weight Samoan closing in, McCarney bends his elbow and fires it back, driving it into the huge sternum of his adversary. McCartney quickly bounces off the ropes and spins toward his foe before slamming his clenched fist hard into the chin of the Samoan Submission Machine. Building up a head of steam now, McCartney leaps up off the canvas and brings his knees in slightly before throwing them back out, driving his boots into the knee of Joel, slowing down the Samoan in his attempt to knock him off his feet.

Much to Kylar's chargin, the dropkick fails, as Joe remains standing at a vertical base, tending to his leg truama. With the newbie doubled over, McCartney lifts his leg up level to his head before driving his toe into the temple of the towering giant, delivering a sickening shot that has the Samoan Submission Machine out on his feet. With Joe staggering and coping with a migraine, Kylar backs up into the ropes before sprinting toward the 300 pound behemoth, his feet stamping on the canvas hard intimating his determination. McCartney leaves his feet once more, and lunges at his seemingly stunned foe, but the Samoan Submission Machine proves yet again why he was a force in GHW and a handful for for his opponent, as he places one arm around the back of his foe's neck and the other in between his legs. Joe suddenly reclines backward before spinning around, slammng his opponent into the mat emphatically and landing on top of him with all his weight. The ring shifts slightly after the devasting counter, a Scoop Powerslam that turned the tide back into the Samoan Submission Machine's favor and with his opponent's inertia inert, Joel leans over and hooks his leg.

1!

2!

TBC

(Soz: I've got a more important match to attend to)